SE Asia 2011: The Route

The route covers four countries (Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos) and will be covered over five weeks.

Travel will be by plane, minibus, bus, inflated inner tube, overnight train, bike, manual boat and powered boat!

Bangkok -> Siem Reap -> Phnom Penh -> Ho Chi Minh City -> Mekong Delta -> Nha Trang -> Danang -> Hoi An -> Hue -> Hanoi -> Halong Bay -> Hanoi -> Luang Prebang -> Vang Vieng -> Vientiane -> Bangkok

SE Asia: Day 34

Bangkok

The End

Today was bridge day. The suspension bridge in Bangkok (can't remember the name) looks great both in daylight and at night. The other bridges are pretty boring. I also went to big tall standing Buddha - Lucky Buddha. Hopefully he wished me a safe trip home.

I'm about to head off for my 28hr journey to London via Delhi. Sad to be leaving SE Asia, I've had an amazing time here :).

Unfortunately real life starts mid-September...

Photos: will be put up as soon as I've picked out the decent 5% and binned the rest!

SE Asia: Day 33

Bangkok

Back in Thailand. At the same hostel (Khaosaan Baan Thai - recommendation). God it's taken a bloody long time to get back here!

Currently feeling all "templed" out, so after the 2 hour walk from the train station to the hostel - got lost, my fault - I decided today was the day for market shopping. Mainly because now I know I don't have to carry it anywhere. Trawling the streets of markets for goodies I found very little that appealed. Why would I want: someone's old dentures, claws still attached to toes, duran fruit, dried squid, dead peoples lockets (with photos) or old shoes? Consequently, the only thing I bought this morning was water, and lunch.

This afternoon I'm ashamed to say I hit the more tourist orientated markets, purchasing some 'Made in Thailand' trousers (that will probably only ever be used as pyjamas) and a few books to keep me entertained for the 14 hours I have to spend in Delhi Airport tomorrow night. One more day here.

I feel I've definitely come the full circle now, as I'm revisiting my favourite Bangkok places. Dinner was back to Mr Yim and his vegetarian food. Here, a pretty Taiwanese girl decided to squash into the very small space between us and a couple of English guys next to us. A little odd, I thought at first, as there was plenty of space elsewhere. I soon realised her agenda was to chat up the two boys, her lines including "English guys are good at pool" and "When I first heard Scottish people speaking, I thought it was like, Malay, or something". To be fair, I can see her point with the latter.

SE Asia: Day 32

Vientiane

Visited the most important monument in Lao. The others must look really unimportant.

It is raining a lot here - which is slightly disappointing as I'm hearing stories of gorgeous sunny days at home! However, it does mean it's slightly cooler here. I was almost chilly on the tuk-tuk/pick-up truck thing I went on to the train station. This was a particularly packed journey, with six people each side plus luggage, with most of the journey spent collecting a second skin of dust.

The train station is, I think, the only one in Laos. They seem pretty proud of it, as there was quite a display of photos of its construction, which bored even me. The journey was all but 5 minutes in Lao, crossing the border into Thailand over the Friendship Bridge. I guess that name could become ironic if the two countries are ever at war.

The sleeper train in Thailand was very different to all those I've been on before. You lie along the direction of motion, rather than perpendicular to it, which could lead to some painful head bashing when the train brakes sharply. This was probably the most comfortable of all trains, but sleep was limited for two reasons:
a) They didn't switch the bloody lights off. Retards.
b) Vomiting child number two was near us (this is where I miss compartments). This time the child, who also goes under the name of Screaming child, and Choking child was in female form, and had four older relatives whose brainpower put together would only just equal that of Vomiting child number one's grandmother.

Photos: building up very slowly due to rain and lack of excitment in Vientiane. The river promenade was nice.

SE Asia: Day 31

Vientiane

Of the five sights listed in the Vientiane section of my guidebooks, today I visited three. The first, described as a less impressive Arc de Triomphe, turned out to be a much less impressive version. particularly disappointing after a 2 km walk in the rain. The next was Wat Sisaket, which was crammed full of recovered buddha statues. Not bad.

An improvement on these sights was the pastries served at a local bakery. The apple and fruit tart were amazing and it was easy to while away the hours chatting and eating there. One local kid was lucky enough to be given one by a customer and looked like it had made his day. I bet there were many jealous looks from other kids.

Back at the hotel I avoided further showers watching Asian tv. Mostly CSI type things, as other channels, such as the Discovery Channel, have all been dubbed. So frustrating when you know that the English is under there somewhere!

Dinner today was WeiWeiMai and FriedSpicy. I've taken to just ordering odd sounding things now, adds some great variety to Fried Rice / Noodles.

SE Asia: Day 30

Vang Vieng -> Vientiane

I should have learned by now that if one agency offers a service cheaper than all the others there's something fishy going on.... That's how I ended up on a 'minibus' with 32 seats and 32 disgruntled people who also thought they'd booked a minibus. Ah well, it got me to Vientiane only 2 hours late, where I managed to find my very mouldy hotel room. There's a piece of mould here that looks like an extremely spiky bat. Not going near it in case it isn't mould.

Vientiane itself is a lot bigger than second city Luang Prebang, but other than that I can't really comment as I spent the afternoon booking my train ticket out of here.

Photo count: Over 4000! But today is the first day I haven't taken any.

SE Asia: Day 29

Vang Vieng

This morning I hired the smallest, slowest bike ever, to cycle out of the not-so-interesting town of Vang Vieng to find some caves. The ride there hit me with plenty of confusing signs to fake caves and lots of naked children "hi-diving" me to gleeful shouts of "Sabidee" (hello). However, when I was on the correct route (I didn't have a map) the cycling was only a little to rocky / puddly and the scenery was stunning. Limestone karsts erupted from the clouds all around and then the sun appeared to heat up the tops of my legs and arms to near burn stage.

To make the most of my stay in Vang Vieng and to follow my cousin's recommendation, I then decided to go tubing. I picked up my inner tube and spent the journey upstream in the pick up listening to horror stories about currents, slides and deaths. Ignoring these I gingerly hopped into the extremely fast-flowing muddy brown river and settled down for a great ride.

Tubing turned out to be a much smoother, less exhausting way to enjoy the valley and I had a fantastic time. I did get beached at one point which was painful as your bum hits the ground first and when I wasn't really sure where to disembark some local boys 'kindly' dragged me to the bank. It was tricky to hold on to my valuables and refuse to give a tip, but I succeeded.

(Sandwiches today at new vendor were inferior - cheese and mayonnaise? Seriously? And every bloody bar plays F.R.I.E.N.D.S on repeat. Every one.)

SE Asia: Day 28

Luang Prebang -> Vang Vieng

I am purposefully not eating whilst writing this.

More sandwiches from my favourite stall. This time she even made a banana and nutella sandwich on request. Yum.

Today was a travel day from Luang Prebang to Vang Vieng. Boarding my much-better-than-expected minibus I was anticipating a good journey, despite the rain. The scenery through the mountains was pretty special - lush, green and rocky. Exactly what I imagine Halong Bay would look like if you took away the sea. Unfortunately, along with the mountains and valleys came 220km of winding climbs and descents. Sore bum. And it's true what they say: Lao people do get travel sick. Vomit boy in front of me lived up to his name, and thanks to his grandmother, Route 13 is now they proud owner of plenty of plastic bags full of vomit. I maintain (from the experience of having a very travel sick sibling) that she shouldn't have kept feeding him on the journey.

Route 13 also is the lifeblood of that area of Laos. Wooden houses lined the street, and everywhere there were:
- kids carrying kids
- boys playing in groups with stones
- smaller boys playing with their own 'toy'
- girls combing plants
- naked kids showering in the monsoon (and one old woman *shudder*)

There were many animals too, and along with the numerous potholes the cats, dogs, cows, goats, pigs, chickens and buffalos completed the obstacle course of Route 13.

Apart from the huge landslide that held us up for over an hour.....

SE Asia: Day 27

Luang Prebang

Breakfast again from out lovely sandwich seller. Yesterday we had the mixed fruit shake, which tasted mostly of dragonfruit and banana, and was bright pink thanks to the dragon fruit! Today I really wanted to try the oreo and banana shake, but couldn't quite bring myself to have it for breakfast.

In the afternoon I went off for my prebooked trip to the waterfalls, only to find the tour office I'd booked with the day before suspiciously locked. A common scam, I thought, annoyed that I'd been caught out. However, the guy who I'd booked with appeared from nowhere and returned my deposit saying that there weren't enough people. So, I got my money back but was in the slight predicament that this was my last afternoon here and I really wanted to see the waterfalls!

Walking a few metres down the road however, I managed to find a few others who wanted to go so we chartered a tuk-tuk. An hour later and rather sore from the bumpy Lao raods and the bars of the cage of the jumbo/tuk-tuk digging into my back, we arrived at Kuong Si waterfalls. Immediately the air was fresher, and trekking towards the noise we found a series of small (1-2m) falls. There was also a cage full of bears lolling around in hammocks and suchlike.
Carrying on up I found the main event - falls with a huge drop. Unfortunately most of the higher walkways seem to have been washed away (presumably seasonally) and the upper path was closed. So, after taking a few pics, I went for a swim in one of the pools under the waterfall. A cold, but very refreshing experience, and all the time with that awesome waterfall noise and the spray.

Post-swimming I was pretty hungry, and so visited the night market for dinner one last time for some vegetarian food. I wimped out of the banana and oreo shake (as well as the delicacy they have here of half hatched eggs which I think they boil - eurgh) and had a lemon and mango one. Nice, but I didn't realise they would put a whole lemon into the blender, which made the taste quite rind-ish.

Back to the hostel to pack - I'm hoping for a generally landslide free journey tomorrow. Witnessed two motorbikes crash right in front of the jumbo today. Not nice, bits of motorbike flying everywhere, and someone in our vehicle swears one of the drivers lost a toe or so.

SE Asia: Day 26

Luang Prebang

Awoke (late) to the lovely Laos sunshine. In what was left of the morning, I visited some tourist agencies and heard pretty much the same thing about ten times over. The same price quoted for everything until you try and leave and then they suddenly ask you "What you want to pay?". I wish the converstations would just start like that, everything would be so much easier!

After little success, I walked around LP again, scooping up most of the temples I'd missed yesterday, and then sandwiches for lunch. I've already built up quite a rapport with one sandwich seller. Sounds pretty boring but I am eating Lao too - last night I feasted on the mounds of food available in the night market. Cold, but delicious. The handicraft part of the night market was also interesting, as it occupied the whole main road through Luang Prebang. I probably would have enjoyed it slightly more if the headroom had been more Western and less SE Asian, but the wares on sale were extremely colourful.

For dinner I went to a restaurant accross the river, which involved a two-minute crossing of the river in a very narrow boat! Watching closely I noticed that the crossing just consisted of paddling upstream and accross, then letting the boat drift down to the jetty. No need to paddle downstream at all, the rivers own stream is so fast. On the way back we were too late for the boat crossing so had to wander through the village to find a bridge. I like most bridges, but this particular specimen had the walkway on the outside of the structure, very wobbly planks on the floor, a low guardrail and a great view through the gaps in the plan to the huge fast-flowing body of water below. Not my favourite bridge. There were also planks going across the walkway every 2m or so. I'm sure these are structurally important, but they were also very good at tripping you up :S

Dinner itself consisted of a couple of platters (including buffulo skin chilli dip, eggplant dip, Mekong seaweed, lao sausage, chilli, chilli and chilli...) and a Lao fondue. The fondue was more of a DIY barbecue, with a broth around the rim for cooking noodles, cabbage, morning glory and poaching eggs, and a barbecue in the centre for the beef and fish. We initially though there were two types of fish, but one type turned out to be lard. Eurgh. All in all a great meal in a great riverside setting.

SE Asia: Day 25

Luang Prebang

Finally, into Laos :) Took a lovely little aeroplane called a "Fokker" to Laos and then a taxi to a lovely little guesthouse on "KoK Sack Road". Lovely.

Going from the second most populous city in Vietnam to the equivalent in Laos illustrates well the differences between the countries. Hanoi was busy, honking, fast, bright; I struggled to keep up. Luang Prebang is slower, full of temples with monks ambling around. I can actually cross the road here without stepping out in front of an onsluaght of motorbikes.

Luang Prebang is set out in a linear fashion along a peninsula. After landing I visited the mount (or very small hill), the National Palace and a few temples. All very nice, plenty of gold and white. Everything here is pricier than I imagined, and the river is definitely browner. Also randomly bumped into some friends on the small hill, them having left us in Hanoi 24 hours before....

I'm starting to think/worry about stuff back home (like the fact I have 2 weeks to find somewhere to live when I return, and 3 weeks to train for Boston marathon). 4 weeks and I feel very out of it. I was very unimpressed to hear that my sister "stayed close to home" on her birthday a few days ago for fear of riots in Brum centre, and for the same reason my nan is too scared to cross town. Wtf is going on? I feel safer in the country with the highest number of bombs dropped on it per capita in the world.

SE Asia: Day 24

Hanoi

Complete lazy day. Biggest physical exertion was walking around a lake about the size of the res. Upped the photo count a little today by taking photos of the locals going about their daily business, which included:

- A woman spending 5 minutes attempting to put a piece of paper in the hand of a mannequin outside her shop (wearing a lime green bikini). She failed.
- Three women arguing over a tray of raw chickens. I'm starting to believe the expression they have here: "It only takes three women to make a market"

I also found a handicraft shop called "Cock", with a large invitation on the window saying "Try some cock here".

New hotel. Probably the worst room yet, but with the best internet/computer!

SE Asia: Day 23

Hanoi

Went to see Ho Chi Minh's body this morning. It has been embalmed by a soviet expert and so looked a lot laike a waxwork, very creepy. I just felt sorry for the poor guy as he just wanted to be cremated and spread on three different mountains, rather than place in a huge building and sent to Russia for three months every years for maintenance. I got told off in this big building for "talking" and then for "sniggering". These are apparently both forbidden.

On to the Temple of Literature where I discovered very little about literature, but the rain is definitely a-happening in Hanoi. Some guy in a poncho followed me trying to sell me a poncho. No luck for him - I was already soaked and thankfully this time wearing appropriately coloured underwear.

The evening took me to a water puppet show, which was an interesting idea. Although it was only 45 minutes long I really enjoyed it, so many wacky instruments in the orchestra and the puppets were impressive. The dragons squirted water, the buffaloes fought and the coconuts were picked (and then danced). A definite recommendation. Afterwards I went to "Le Pub" on the recommendation of Lonely Planet, and had a great time winning at free pool and then watching the boys losing to the bar tenders (as soon as I saw the bar guys had their own cues I knew that was the foregone conclusion!)

Photo count: About 3,000. Pretty good, although I was doing much better until Halong Bay, and things like the scooter full of pigs....

SE Asia: Day 22

Halong Bay -> Hanoi

Waking up at 5 I quickly decided after looking out of the window that no, in the clouds and rain, it was not worth getting up for sunrise. A shame in some was but blissful in others. An early lunch meant that I was back on the same bus by 12, and then annoyingly back in the bloody following shop for a "Happy Room" stop.

On the journey to Hanoi I had the pleasure of seeing a many who had been knocked off his moped (he seemed ok though), an overturned truck and a moped with about 10 pigs on it. I also had the pleasure of the guide telling us how "Hanoi looks like winter" and in winter it's "freezing cold face will drop off" because temperature reach +15 degrees. No. Sympathy.

SE Asia: Day 21

Hanoi -> Halong Bay

Straight off the train to the hotel. Dump bags. Go on facebook. Get on a bus to Halong bay. Standard stopping tactics on the way there - just 1.5 hours in we had to stop at a huge shop for the driver to "have a break". My knowledge of Vietnamese extends far enough to translate this to "collect his commission / fuel coupons". This shop was particularly horrid as everywhere I went I was followed about by an assistant. I didn't really notice until I saw that this was happening to absolutely everyone. Others tries walking round and round a statue to get rid of theirs. Didn't work. We then decided to follow the followers, but this failed to as the people they were following just wanted to chat to us. Nevermind.

Reaching Halong Bay, I boarded a junk. My expectations for a boat that has a name synonymous with trash were low, but it was actually very good! Upstairs was the restaurant and bar an downstairs were the cabins, which has ensuites and everything, pretty swish for a one night stay. I did feel bad later when I came out of my room at night to find the cabin crew sleeping on the floor of the dining room or even on the roof.

Anyway, Halong Bay consists of impressive geological rock formations, some of which had caves inside. I visited one cave where the guide kept pointing out rocks shaped as animals and buddas (I could see about two of the ten or so ones he pointed out). He didn't really understand about geology either: "the leaf turns to rock and then the rock turns into water". Hmmmm. Not sure about that.

Back on the boat we had a swim in an extremely strong current (you basically swam to keep still, excellent training) and then a very fishy but good meal. Finally, and unfortunately, kareoke. I wasn't personally involved, but I hope somebody enjoyed it.

SE Asia: Day 20

Hue

An early get up took me to the tombs in Hue. Back in the day it was apparently normal for the emperors to build their tombs when they were alive, taking up to 11 years to complete them. So, the tombs were many square kilometres in size and very showy - I particularly liked the lakes with the lotus flowers. I couldn't really hear the guide very well, but to make some sort of tea you put something inside the lotus flowers and leave it overnight; in the morning it is beautiful tea. I also learned that if you are an emperor you really don't want to catch smallpox when you're young as it leaves you sterile. Even with 103 wives / concubines the poor emperor was left childless, and blamed by many of the Vietnamese people for the end of a dynasty.

For lunch I had my first non-Asian meal of the trip, which was a shame but I figured it was ok as I'd already sampled the Asian cuisine from that particular moment. Then for the final sleeper train of Vietnam, standards apparently get worse the further north you go but the lack of air-con was actually helpful for a good nights sleep.

SE Asia: Day 19

Hoi An --> Hue

Best start to the day ever. I wondered into an English lesson for young (9-ish) kids and was invited in to chat to the kids and help teach them English. There were so many interesting conversations,
plus for shocked faces when I said I was 22 (they'd only learned up to 20 so had to check on a special number chart how old I was. I didn't realise that from such a young age the kids have both English and Vietnamese names - still not sure whether they choose their own English names or whether their parents / teachers choose them.

Finally made it to Hue after a bus journey where the driver asked us
to switch off the aircon "to save power for the engine to get us up
the hill", and then when we put it back on it gave up, making for an
extremely sweaty / legs-stuck-to-the-seat last two hours.

When I got to Hue I switched on the hotel TV and found a very young
Vietnamese girl singing "I'm a barbie girl" on stage. Amusing enough
in itself, but even more so when I realised she'd confused the word
"creation" with "cremation". Also quite creepy.

After this I did the citadel in Hue, which was all very nice and very chinese.

I ordered porridge for a joke at a restaurant. It was more like
risotto with fatty bits of pork. Not great. Not porridge.

SE Asia: Day 18

Hoi An

The riverside of Hoi An is gorgeous, despite the persistant calls of "boat trip, boat trip?". There's even a covered riverside market which doubles as a workout because the roof is so low you walk about in a permanent squat.

I treated myself for the first time today by purchasing a couple of jackets from a tailor. There are over 300 tailors here, which is pretty much every other shop, and the one I used - Yaly - can make anything in just 24 hours. Such amazing talent, and my assistants, Fairy (I know) and Judy were lovely. I would recommend them to anyone. Not particularly looking forward to carrying the jackets across Asia though.

My Facebook trick doesn't work here so I'm struggling to put notes up. Proxymice just doesn't cut it.

SE Asia: Day 17

Hoi An

Is an anagram of Hanoi.

Not impressed with the overnight train to Danang = heading to bed at 9pm!

Despite thinking it would be getting colder as I travel north, it seems to be getting warmer and warmer. No rains for four days now, just boiling sunshine :S The food seems to be getting even spicier too. Plain fried rice somehow bit my head off yesterday, and today they didn't even bother trying to hide the chilli in my sauteed fish.

Hoi An is an port that is no longer in use, but was once mostly occupied by the Chinese and Japanese. This means here are many intricately decorated pagodas, assembly halls and houses, all great to visit. Unfortunately due to the heat I've spent a good amount of time indoors, being entertained by things as small as hotel rule books. Quote:

"We do not have the sex service"
"Please not eat the duran fruit here"
"Alcohol, drugs and gambling are not strictly forbidden"

You would think that they could get someone to check these things, but there is so much poor English around, other common examples include: Bottlede water, Caramed Oustard (Caramel Custard?) and Baba-qu (BBQ). I reckon there's money to be made as a proofreader here...

SE Asia: Day 16

Nha Trang

So it's stricly Day 15, but the slightly impromptu drinks last night deserve a mention! We had 'buckets' of cocktails, each costing less than $3, at a pretty cool bar near our restaurant. The first was decidedly weak, so our tour leader decided he'd pour our next two himself (big improvement).

Cocktails I decided NOT to try:

HAPPY: White wine, Red wine, Rhum, Vodka and Coke
MSG: White wine, Sambuca, Vodka and Grenadine (I think)

I'm not sure I'd have much to write about today had I had either of the above. The buckets were actually like hugh jam jars, and so a few of those plus a game of connect four and then a disco on the beack made for a great evening. Although, in terms of overheating, 5 minutes on the dancefloor here is probably equivalent to about 6 hours in Life. Eurgh.

Needless to say I made full use of my room this morning before checkout at 12pm. No sunrise walks on the beach today. The afternoon I spent walking to and visiting a pagoda and a temple / tower collection. Both were reasonably interesting (I made a shorts error so couldn't go inside the towers) but to be honest it was just far too hot to be out and about! It doesn't rain in this place and the clouds are in very short supply...

SE Asia: Day 15

Nha Trang

5am. Sunrise. East facing beach. Gorgeous.

I was surprised to find that at this ridiculous hour the beach was completely packed full of locals. I guess if you have the amenity that close, then why not go for a swim before work? But in clothes? Most of the women were pretty much fully dressed, not sure why. Anyway, the sunrise was beautiful, and happens a lot faster here than in the UK, I guess because it goes straight up and not at some silly angle.

After breakfast I went on a full day snorkeling trip with our leader "Bruce Lee" (or Quan). Lots of fabulous coral and fish. It was a shame to see the tour leaders ripping things off the bed though, and a lot of the tourists didn't think twice about standing on the coral. Lunch was an on-boat seafood buffet and fruit was served mid afternoon (FINALLY, green and not overipe bananas). Not sure I'll be having much dinner!

I've also discovered the hard way that there is such a thing as a 'snorkeling tan'. In most people's case this is actually 'snorkeling burn', but I definitely have very pale bikini lines imprinted in my back. Damn. And I put on suncream. At least I don't have a bright red bum where my extra tight swimming trunks just don't cover it.

SE Asia: Day 14

Nha Trang

Train = great! Happy Room surprisingly happy. Arrived at Nha Trang at 6am having actually slept for once. (Still had a 3 hour nap this afternoon, but nevermind).

Nha Trang is supposedly the beach capital of Vietnam, and there is one long beach spanning the entire length of the town. The sea is actually warm; such a change from Wales, where I normally go in the UK. On Rhossilli beach, as lovely as it is, I do have to walk about 2 miles out into the sea to get out of your depth, and then I'm so damn cold I can only swim until I'm physically shivering, then hike back to shore to get 'warm'. Here I was out of my depth about 4m in. The sand is also extremely hot, so I ended up just standing on the bit that gets covered by the broken wave (I may have started investigating the scour characteristics around my foot - no conclusions as yet...)

In Nha Trang, sunglasses are the new tuk-tuk. If you forget to take yours out you get hounded by people selling brightly coloured Primark-esque varieties, and if you do remember to wear your own, it's not much better.

A couple of the locals seem to have learned the phrase 'lovely jubbly' and like exploiting it on anyone they see. Makes a change from "England. Capital London." but still pretty annoying.

The food for dinner was fairly adequate, but the restaurant decor was 'interesting' - photos of very old / wrinkly / everything pointing downwards vietnamese women hung on the walls. I was also amused by the fact that the young son of the owner appeared to keep his reading books in the fridge.

SE Asia: Days 12 & 13

Mekong Delta (near Saigon)

Our guide for this trip is a local Vietnamese guy called Loc, or LC (I thought it was Elsie!) for short. He and various other people / experience taught me many things:

1) Don't buy a Chinese motorcycle if you want to be able to break going downhill
2) It's ok to smash bridges to get a dredger through
3) You are required by law in Vietnam to wear a helmet
4) If under fire from the enemy, you can cross a river with a snorkel and a clump of water hyacinth
5) To determine what each boat in a floating market sells, look at the wares attached on bamboo poles high in the air
6) 100% DEET seems to be quite effective
7) Rice husks are an amazing fuel
8) I never want to hold a snake
9) Snake wine is quite nice though
10) I can fit in a 20 x 40 x 150 cm hole, but putting the lid on makes me feel claustrophobic
11) Jackfruit and duran fruit smell and taste like trash
12) Elephant fish taste nice and can jump a long way towards your face
13) I will be getting many recitals of 'Eternal Flame' from the guide, who cannot sing
14) Rowing here appears to be a standing-up sport
15) Hammocks are very comfy, wearing shorts on chairs with wooden slats is not
16) The WC/toilet is consistently referred to as a 'Happy Room'
17) 14-year old boys can get very drunk on 45% Snake Alcohol (unsurprising, but then they can also vomit for the entire next day - when I was 14 hangovers were non-existent, although I was probably pissed from about three alcopops)

I'm now off to experience my first Asian sleeper train, so far all is sounding good with only 4-per compartment, rather than 6! However, apparently the Happy Rooms on the train are not so happy :S

SE Asia: Day 11

Ho Chi Minh City

Facebook is blocked in Vietnam! No wonder I've been having loads of issues logging on and this is apparently why. Such a pain although I obviously don't really need it. The very kind doorman has shown me a couple of tricks though - just add an extra 's' in the address line and it seems to mostly work.....

Saigon is the nicest of the four cities so far (to my surprise). French influence means the streets are far wider meaning when they are not filled with motorbikes the pavements are usable. Also in the style of French 'boulevards' there are many tall trees lining the streets. There's even a Notre Dame Cathedral!

The weather comes up frequently in these notes, but I reckon that is pretty much standard for an English person. Anyway, Vietnam so far seems slightly cooler, and I'm really hoping it will get even cooler as we head North. However, today for the first time I experienced rains with wind, and how well this can come in through a *closed* bathroom window and flood the first bathroom I've had that hasn't been a wet room - no dry feet for me (and no dry towels either as these were used to contain the flood..). I also feel very vulnerable to wind in a nine-storey building with such small floor dimensions, perhaps 8m x 18 m. The owners here could evidently afford to maximise their plot of land, unlike their neighbours. Great 270 degree views from the roof terrace though.

Photo count: still about 1400 - best pic was an ice cream van - a red pedal cycle with a freezer box on the back decorated in 'Walls' ice cream stickers and with the classic music (maybe pedal powered?)

SE Asia: Day 10

Phnom Penh -> Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon)

This time the travel day was fairly enjoyable. The coach had plush leather seats, which were huge! Leg room was actually room, and the seats were so wide only three fitted width-ways. Finally, something in SE Asia not made specifically for the build of average SE Asian people. Also, more enjoyable (or less un-enjoyable) was the entertainment. So far the films on the buses have been Chinese, loud and very gruesome - all of them would certainly be rated 18+ in the UK. Scenes of slicing limbs off, spraying hot oil, crushing and torture were fairly normal. The worst bit that I caught was a live male being fed foot-first into a mincing machine. Plenty of camera flicks to the 'mince' appearing from the machine, and when they got to the head (he was still alive) they apparently got bored and so ripped it off for a great shot of the inside of the head. Yum.

Saigon - many many many many motorbikes. The drivers and passengers here do wear helmets though, which is great. Thankfully there are no tuk-tuks around, which means I no longer have to walk along consistently shaking my head to the words "Tuk-tuk lady? You want tuk-tuk? 1 dollar?".

Photo exhibition to do with the Vietnam war: Agent orange. I feel extremely uninformed and am off to read up on this.

Photo count: 1479 - time for a cull

SE Asia: Day 9

Phnom Penh

Education is necessary.

My conclusion from visiting the killing fields in and genocide museum in Phnom Penh. This makes me feel better because I'm now over $30,000 in debt due to undertaking a degree, but for the Cambodian people the odds do not stack up well. Since the Khmer Rouge killed 20,000 (most) of the educated people in Phnom Penh, the general standard of education is very very poor. Of those that ever go to school, 41% attend for less than 3 years, and another 35% do not finish elementary school. This makes for a very superstitious and religious population, one easily influenced by the government, which is plagued by corruption. I even spotted the headquarters for the Anti-Corruption Unit - not entirely sure how effective this organisation could be or indeed who is in charge of it...

After a pretty heavy morning I spent the afternoon exploring Phnom Penh proper, discovering a fairly nice riverside promenade. On this was a sort of playground 'gym'. Obviously I immediately went for 'the rower', but fake erging in a monsoon isn't very fun and I should definitely have learned in my 18 years of education that black underwear under a thin cotton shirt isn't a flattering combination. Thankfully the general heat and a strategically situated fan in Wat Phnom ensured this wasn't and all-day look.

SE Asia: Day 8

Siem Reap --> Phnom Penh

Another travel day with a 6 hour bus journey. The drivers seem to like stopping for a break at strange places, and everyone is required to get off the bus for about 20 minutes. At the stop today I saw huge platters of insect delicacies such as cockroaches, tarantulas and other large bugs. I didn't really have the stomach to try any of them, which is pretty lame, but the 'roadworks' along the way mad for an extremely bumpy ride. Any napping attempts were soon disrupted by the standard head jerk such as one experiences in 9 o'clock lectures (especially after 5am Ely days....).

Phnom Penh - so far much better than Siem Reap. For a city that was a ghost town fairly recently it is currently bustling with locals going about their daily business. It's so big and busy that my 'orientation' walk was actually extremely disorientating, and I got thoroughly lost. The highly of that rain filled trip had to be the 'Tomato Specialized Bank'.

Dinner was fairly poor, if I'd known what 'Morning Glory', 'Water Mimosa' and other unusual items were before ordering I may have had something more special and unique!

SE Asia: Day 7

Siem Reap

Floating villages. A great concept in a country where the annual water level changes so much. There was a great range of houses in the village, from those built on top of actual boats to those constructed on rafts made from wood and barrels. I was surprised to find that all the dwellings were 'loose', but I guess this makes the village easier to move (they move inland in the wet season as the waves are too great in the middle of the lake). Other features of the village included mobile shops, which went from house to house, the abundance of satellite TVs in an extremely poor area - possibly powered by car batteries, I don't know - and a large number of pet dogs and cats.

It seems that the Cambodians often make things hard for themselves though, from what I've learned. They cut down all the forest around the lake to use the wood to build with and as firewood, and in doing so have greatly reduced the level of fish in the lake. This is also not helped by countries like China, further upstream, building dams which block the fish from migrating to their spawning grounds. Other errors include past kings using so much local labour to build great temples like Angkor Wat, that the rice fields could not farm, causing starvation and a reduction in trade, both of which contributed to the fall of the kingdom. More recently, the Khmer Rouge murdered the almost all of the educated population of Cambodia, meaning in terms of knowledge the country now trails behind its neighbours. However, with respect to community Cambodia is far richer than the West.

SE Asia: Day 6

Siem Reap

Siem Reap is the tourist stop for Angkor Wat, the biggest temple in Cambodia. You can tell. It is entirely built around tourism, full of hotels, shops, agencies, the works. Not authentic at all, and not particularly pleasant, in my opinion.

Angkor Wat and Angkor Thom are spectacular, in a grey, sandstone sort of way. The jungle temple (or Tomb Raider temple) was my personal favourite, as the trees are very much a part of the structure. It was impossible to get a good photograph of Angkor Wat though.

A conversation I had with a young (4 to 5 year old Cambodian girl) selling bracelets to tourists in the Angkor Wat grounds:

"You want bracelets"
"No"
"10 bracelets 1 dollar"
"No thanks"
"15 bracelets 1 dollar"
"No"
"Where you from?"
"England"
"England. Capital London. David Cameroon"
"Ummm ok, great"
"10 bracelets 1 dollar"
"No thanks"
"I don't want your thanks I want your money"
"F*** off little girl! "I don't have any money"
"You borrow your husband's money"
"I don't have one of those either"
"10 bracelets 1 dollar"
*Arghhhhh.....*

ETC.

Photos: 843

SE Asia: Day 5

Bangkok --> Siem Reap

Taxi, bus, tuk-tuk, walk, bus, bus, Siem Reap.

The border crossing was smooth. Thankfully, no one tried to sell me, which does happen. Also odd was the many businesses and casinos in the gap between the departure and arrival checkpoints. It was a hive of activity, but from experience this area is normally a sort of no-man's land. Not sure why this was - perhaps casinos etc are not allowed in either Thailand or Cambodia?

The Norwegians I met said they felt extremely safe in Cambodia, even with its unexploded landmines and its past history.

SE Asia: Day 4

Day 4 - Bangkok

It was a lizard. Proven by seeing a huge 40cm long specimen leisurely running along in the grubby canal waters. I felt slightly relieved that its 10cm diameter body would not fit through the holes in the drain covers, but to quote a companion, "if that appeared in my hotel room I'd be calling the manager".

Today was spent visiting palaces and throne halls. The pieces in the throne hall exhibition were astoundingly beautiful and valuable - mostly gold, silver and diamond. It was apparently necessary to wear a skirt (females) and long trousers (males). I did feel somewhat conspicuous in my 90s tye-dye sarong, but watching the men parade around in plain purple and pink sarongs was very amusing. Although theirs didn't suddenly drop off.

Walking today was characterised by lungfuls of fuel-laden air, people attaching pigeon food to our rucksacks (then emptying the bags and expecting you to pay for the delight of having pigeons swarming around you) and in the late evening, wading in the streams caused by the monsoon.

For dinner I managed to pull my feet out of the water and nab a table on slightly raised concrete/ This made me particularly smug until I realised that twenty or so cockroaches had had the same idea. Trying to ignore the sudden all over itching that had been occurring repeatedly since the breakfast I provided to up to seven insects earlier in the day, I managed to eat through a great Red Curry and Rad Kha (noodles in sticky gravy). The latter had an extremely high heat capacity- a warning.

SE Asia: Day 3

Day 3 - Bangkok

Ahhh waking up to the sound of heavy monsoon rain....Nope, wait, that's the sounds of the two fans that in my room because I'm too stingy to pay for aircon. At least it wasn't raining though.
An early start makes you an easy target to the lovely people of Bangkok. Before 9.30am I had learned:

• Friday was Budda day. Everything free you normally pay for. On the news last night the Thai government announced this.
• Visit the Lucky Budda, Happy Budda, and every other Budda before 1pm.
• Visit the National Palace and Wat Pho after 1pm, before 1pm is Thai monks only.
• Yellow tuk-tuks take you anywhere for 20BHT.

In fact, all the above is a load of s***, although the Thais are very consistent with their s***. Every day is in fact Budda day. Well, you don't have to pay to go into the temples any day. All buddas are available to visit all through the day. I visited Wat Pho at about 10am, along with hoards of other tourists, many in various colours of matching T-shirts. Yellow tuk-tuks may take you anywhere for 20BHT, but for 10BHT they will take you on a long detour via their friends' or family's tailors, stall, shop etc etc.

There are many beautiful tiles on the roofs of temples. You can write a message on these before they are laid, which is a nice idea. There is also a very nice bridge, but I won't go on about that here. The food is awesome. Lunch was an amazing combination of garlic, pineapple, coconut milk, sugar and chilli. Dinner was more rice and a Tom Yam soup. That was a very spur of the moment decision, but the custom at this particular place was to give you the menu and simultaneously take your order...

The walk back from dinner was less nice. I can see why the locals on scooters wear masks. I also discovered why cats sit on drains covers (which have four 5cm diameter holes at each corner), when a lizard/snake/frog - most likely the former - poked his head out to gawp at my descending foot, prompting a squeal and irrational fear of walking on drain covers. I think the cats like to take a swipe at them, much like the game where you have a hammer and moles appear out of various holes, and you have to bash them. I think I got a top score on that two holidays ago. I hope the cats' skills are as good.

SE Asia: Days 1-2

Day 1

Flying. Late at night. The beginning of the confusion of the body clock. I've never paid over $(this means pounds)600 for a flight before, and this is what you get: a smell of vomit, a seat behind a 4 month old infant and two meals. After perusing the menu - two choices: International or Indian - I went with the Indian meal. Turns out it was the best plane meal I've ever had, apple salad to start, some sort of curry with chapati and some sort of cocunutty Indian sweet for pudding, very handy for combatting the curry, as was the raita.


Day 2

10 hours later and I was having another Indian plane meal. Less fantastic, although improved slightly once I found some chicken under the dahl.
Mumbai airport was nice enough, but smelled a bit like that damp smell you get when you lock up a campervan with a leaking roof for the summer, and then have to sleep in it in the autumn. However, there were great views over the city on the way in, particularly interesting being the shanty town/large building divide, and the workers eating dinner extremely close to the runway.

Arriving in Thailand late (bad weather / turbulence which meant I couldn't relieve myself for the entire 4 hour flight, oww), I had to remind myself that yes, nearer the equator it gets dark earlier. The sky train in the dark was pretty cool though, and downtown Bangkok reminded me slightly of New York, with its skyscrapers and bright lights.

After negotiating the train, I thought grabbing a tuk-tuk to the guesthouse would be an absolute breeze, but Thai tuk-tuk drivers bargain hard, and after refusing two drivers wanting 300BHT (about $(pounds, remember)6) it eventually turned out that the taxi was cheaper, and we got to Samsen Soi3 for just 70BHT, plus the entertainment of the taxi driver happily singing along to the awful sqwuaking/Thai songs coming out of the radio.